Friday, May 12, 2006

Dear Reader - 12 May 2006

Birds Nesting

We have a Leylandii hedge at the back of our small urban lawn. This hedge partly masks the horrendous red brick wall of next door. The hedge provides entertainment, unlike the wall and the folk behind it!
The black cat stalks this hedge as well as other more unpleasant looking cats. Rear end spraying is what they all do along with instinctive ‘birding’. If I see them, I scream and bang the window like a banshee. I love it most when these ‘toms’ get a blast of water from the garden hose!
A pair of Blackbirds has decided to nest in this hedge. Nervously, the mother is building while the male stands guard ready to eyeball approaching feline danger. I find this behaviour fascinating.
Also, there are Chaffinches sitting on their nest in the silver birch in the front patch. The House Martins have returned to find last years home, now rather battered, under the overhang. They are happy to be back from their long journey from West Africa without satnav!!
Swifts are screeching overhead and the first wasp had to be let outside from the kitchen window. This must a record??
The house is slowly becoming a sactuary to dying bees.
Does anyone know why?

The Armstrong’s and Ab Initio

Coventry’s third largest double glazing company is greatly missed following Sir Alan on Wednesday’s TV. I miss Bill Nighy's monotone. Anne looks likes Cherie Blair and John is a clever plonker. But, if their database is such to merit its operation using Ab Initio software, this does confirm a very smart move by John Armstrong.
My reasons for this profound edict are because my prospective Son-in-Law works for the UK licence holder of this software; Emunio based in Henley. Just a bit of informed trivia really.

Politics ad nuseum

I started writing this blog some two weeks ago and every time I get into the subject material, it becomes superseded overnight.
From now on, I will resist blogging about the antics of specific individuals and restrict myself to the overall scenario. Forget the Prescotts' and Clarkes' of this inept government, I'll now liken this subject to a landscape rather that a portrait painting.

The main gripe has got to be the issues surrounding human rights and political correctness of the dysfunctional minority. How is it that child molesters, rapists, hi-jackers, convicted immigrants, Muslim extremists that have become ‘radicalised’, animal rights protestors and terrorists seem to have impunity from prosecution, deportation and subject to technicalities within our legal system found in their favour? Have the unelected Law Lords lost all common sense? I would like to have a rational and plausible explanation, please Mr A Blair PM.
I now hear that he has castigated the Law lords over the deportation of those plane hi-jackers. At last, just a shred of redemption from the man.

Bradford Riots

The worst racial unrest that resulted in the greatest collective prison sentences being granted since the end of WW2. This, the appalling testament that Bradford should be ashamed of, happened in July 2001. The recent C4 film portrayed everything in graphic detail. I was moved to tears at the end by the very disturbing scene showing an Asian culprit in prison about to be put onto suicide watch.
I can’t help but feel, as wrong as it all was, that the Asian community in Manningham were the victims of police intimidation and obvious racial hatred. I believe this was the point of the film.

I wonder today, if the police and the immigration services have actually learnt anything of past lessons in dealing with our coloured bretheren? This discussion will continue.

Baby Boomers

I’m one and now in my prime. I can say this with pride having read about the new 40 starting at my current 58 years. It’s all in the mind. And, if you don’t use that, you will lose it. The fact that I hobble along and suffer from spasticity has got fuck all to do with it. My mind is what I'm most concerned about right now. Sudoku's are not enough for. Anyway, I gone off Carol Voderpants due to her appearing in adverts for unsecured credit loans that is driving us mortals into a nation of bankrupts.

The Japanese male spends more unpaid overtime working that any other employee, except the self-employed. According to the latest stats, the Japs are in the office longer than they are in their homes. As this particular race of ‘baby boomers’ comes up for retirement, the wives have the answer to being forced to tolerate these strange bedfellows at home. ‘It’s now our turn to go out more!’

God knows what’ll happen when my Maggie gives up her work.

My Favourite Ditty

‘Scotland Yard are looking for a small man with one eye’
I would think that if he so small, you’ll need two eyes.

Sir Alan Sugar and his Apprentice

The most belligerent man, the rudest man, the ‘don’t piss my money up the wall’ man and yet he does have a certain appeal.

The two girls hero worship him – not for his body (can’t imagine what he’s like between the silk sheets) but for his shear gall.
Michelle is the better of the two finalists and Sir Alan clearly loves her. We saw his hard eyes actually glisten when he said that he liked her answer to why she should be the apprentice .

Isn’t the whole programme utter bollocks, really – just an unsubtle marketing gimmick for Sir Alan’s less than successful array of shit companies which would only suit one little Jew boy from the East end.

My favourite Word


All for now

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Dear Reader - 27 April 2006

Civil Liberties

Tony Blair is going to make us civil and give us liberty. Or so he says. We have never lived in such a free society that makes us both uncivil and yet restrained. Uncivil because you can be rude to anyone and get away with it and restrained because of political correctness and human rights. This government has gone out of its way to give minority groups all the freedom they want where the extreme among them become human bombs. And they do this in the name of some spurious religious belief. People, many aeons ago, who felt threatened by his religious beliefs, crucified JC. What do we do in our modern world about such extremists - fuck all.

Now TB is fed up with this approach. He going to incur the wrath of the human rights brigade and start to impose punitive sanctions on such extremists. If he can catch them, bloody good show. But, for those that are caught, I would proffer that at least twice as many are lurking undetected, as they don't exist.

Child Protection

At last Scotland Yard have put in place a new detection service based on modern technologies. They are going to employ policeman with a proficiency for this, to sit at computers pretending to be paedophiles. I would do this job for £50k pa at my home PC. Perhaps I will apply. Mark you, if they catch these sadistic bastards, the justice system weighs in their favour. The convicted ones are let out to re-offend as we all saw recently. This is where I would love to be a Muslim. I think they would drive a six-inch nail into the top of the skull of the cunt after his bollocks were fed to the dogs following 1000 lashes.

Did see Sharpe's Revenge on TV the other night with Sean Bean. He'’s brill and I love him to bits. The final sword fight with that fucking Indian Prince had me off my seat willing to kill the bastard. I just love the way ole Sean twisted his blade in the princes chest with that resounding bone shattering crunch. Most satisfying!!

Voluntary Work

I heard this week about an incident that has happened at a voluntary organisation that I used to work for. Recently the manager was told to clear his desk. We were not told anything and the gossip started. The official line was that Richard was no longer employed and has moved elsewhere. Why are bosses so scared of telling the truth?? Two weeks ago, this departed manger's name was in our local rag under 'Court Circular'’. He was found guilty for misappropriation of monies from a local charity (unnamed) and given 30 hours community service. His crime, I have later found out was fiddling his expenses. Well hands up those people who have never done this?


Did you know all you people lucky enough to have a mortgage that you are being ripped off? If you borrow £1000 at 10% interest, over ten years you will owe £2000! It is all to do with compound interest. This is interest only, BTW. Rates currently are about 5.2%. If you opt for a repayment scheme then true cost is about 20% less.

You newbies going for a first box at an average cost of £150k with a 10% deposit that you have cobbled together on credit cards and doting loved ones, will probably go for a 30 year term on a £145k mortgage including all the outrageous fees. This monthly sum is £800 pm with a true cost of about £288,000 over term at 5.25% repayment.

This all makes you want to be corrupt doesn'’t it and plan a bullion raid on a Securicor Depot!!. Avoid Kent for now.

New Man Mike

As I reported last time, I'’m getting ready to hang my walking stick. I have some way to go yet. I can'’t walk in a straight line. I tend wobble and fall over without my aid. I'’m working on the quads, adductors, abductors, hamstrings, calves and ankles. I'm stretching the gluts, back muscles, lower spine and abs. I'm doing deep breathing and attempting cross-legged poses with bent legs trying to reach tera-firma. Like a wizened old Hindu Yogin.All with much farting and grunting. Was that sweat or have I pissed my self again!! Oh yes, I have a fucking long way to go. Belly is sagging, arse is wrinkled, muscles have vanished and my press-ups are pitiful. Oh bloody hell, I need a miracle. But I will succeed as long as I don't get a hernia or cardiac arrest or both. I am determined to keep vertical for as long as I can. The wheelchair can gather dust in the garage until I'’m ready.

How do I go about ‘losing that grey’?


Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Antics next door

You know that the kids are on holiday. General noise and hubbub is somewhat louder than usual. We live next to two youngsters. The lad, aged 10, is a avid soccer player. He has all the branded gear. His mates used to visit and balls flew everywhere. Now the games are different.

His Dad has banned balls in the garden, thank god. That was last year. This year, it's pro. American wrestling with all the grunts, groans and counts. Three boys wrestle each other on top of the trampoline and slam dunk their mascot teddy bar. That's what the parents like to think that's all they do. I see the fuller picture. Yesterday was a most amusing incident of early male bonding. The three boys had thrown out teddy and each had hold of various limbs, with faces in bottoms, screaming, grunting and loud counting. At one point, the bigger boy was unceremoniously told to sit in the middle of the trampoline while the other two were lining up for a slam dunk!! They spotted me and stopped. I just smiled.

Jack's Visit

My six year old grandson, Jack, has just left after staying for a week. I'm exhausted but exhilarated. It doesn't help being lame with a knackered spine and spastic legs. We went places and did things. We ate our greens, pasta and fish but not our fruit!! 'Yuk- that's disgusting. Mummy never gives me that'! We did key stage 2 english and maths. We prepared a scrap book and did fun things on my PC. We made Easter and thank you cards for the family. We made a star chart for all the good foods eaten for which a reward of 10 stars meant a treat!! This worked well.We never stopped talking for 12 hours each and every day. We went to the library and read books and watched 'Spongebob'. Oh what fun. Now I'm knackered and life is back to our normal daily routine with our ears ringing! If you can have youngsters around when you are 60 you will not die of old age or boredom!!
This experience has fired me up and I'm thinking about doing a spot of voluntary work in our local primary school as a reading listener. I'm convinced that many kids do not get sufficient quality one to one time spent with them. This is because parents are too busy being busy, working and shopping that kids can be overlooked. I'm sure that Jack would benefit from more 'Jack time' as he is a bright kid with a yearning to learn, do everything and feel good. He wants to be a winner.


Maggie's folks are aging more rapidly now. Our son has a dodgy job with five mouths to feed and rent to pay. I'm a worry because I'm the disabled man in her life. Her place of work is getting more tricky to live with. So how best to balance all this lot is proving very draining on Maggie. I need to accept the slow demise of her folks and be as supportive as possible. This is now my role in life. Our son will get a break and their life will improve as he is more focused now after 3 job losses in 6 months. I'm determined to get on top of my health problems and become more stable. All these issues are significant to Maggie but I've learnt over the 34 years of marriage that less talk is best and deeds done are brilliant. I must admit that the state of her parents do make feel like the inevitable will happen and creates a nervous belly ache akin to that awful sinking gut feeling you get when you are scared and frightened. My Mum and Dad were 'fortunate' in the way they died in that they did not suffer loss of dignity. A reality all families have to face. The unexpected is devastating. The expected is no better.

Me, Diet and Health.

Since I saw a nutritionist in March and changed my whole diet, I feel tons better. I want to do more. I stay up until midnight. I want to exercise. I want to have sex again after many years of abstinence. I'm throwing out old boxers and 38 inch jeans. I've lost one stone. I'm Ebaying for replacement jeans, pants and shoes. I want to walk again without my fucking stick as I used to do 10 years ago. I've stopped my main painkiller but still need the anti-inflammatory and blood pressure pills. My legs are twitching and my bowels are working twice a day after being a twice a week man with constipation and piles. But I'm cautious. Just because I feel good now does not mean I'm out of the woods as next week things could be very different. I have learnt that.
But I'm going to see my GP to discuss my gait and appalling feet. I'm going to see if I can come off the BP medicine and tell him about my erectile dysfunction.
My new diet regimen following the visit to IoN qualified nutritionist is going well. I've stopped consuming diary, red meat, yeast products including bread, biscuits and snacks and a little G & T occasionally. I also eat less quantity with three mains and two snacks. The latter is difficult as choice is limiting. I like Nairns Oatcakes with humus. I eat loads of green salad leaves with minimum protein. I drink more water, fruit, nuts,grains, seeds, pulses etc. And I twit like an parrot!! Both Maggie & I following the Patrick Holford regime with Ian Maber thrown in as his recipes are simple to do. I have a range of supplements (costly) to help repair my gut and bowel after 30 years of swallowing prescription drugs. It is the inherent problems with these,that after many NHS insertions into ALL my orifices failed to fix, that were causing loss of appetite, smell & taste and more basically blocked bowels, farting loudly and nausea after food.
Today, things are vastly different. Not that I'm cured yet. Bowels are tricky although going from twice weekly to once or twice daily is a shock to my system albeit pleasant!! My gut powder is making me very alert and stops me from going to bed at 9pm and raising at 9am!! That must be an improvement. My taste and smell are returning. I feel like exercising and becoming more useful.

All for now - Mike

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Alive and Kicking - Tuesday 28th March 2006

I have been an inactive blogger recently. I wish to continue with my journal writing and I've decided to do this via a blog rather than via a pen and note-book.

It is many months since I last did a posting and I couldn't remember how to log in. With the aid of blogspot help and being semi-literate in PC speak, I find myself writing again for all to read. I feel ready for the challenges that blog writing will give me and to write an entry fairly regularly but not daily.

Why do I feel up to it now and not previously?

A lot has gone on in my life since I last wrote a blog. I have not stopped writing at all except when I was prostrate in agony for most of Febuary 2006 with a flare of my Ankylosing Spondylitis. In summary, this are the major events that have happened over the last few months:-

  • Birth of 2nd grandson (actually that was 12 months ago)
  • Started and stopped Advising at York Citizens Advice Bureau (too stressful)
  • Admitted and seeked help to treat my Clinical Depression (wise but bold move)
  • Attended numerous clinics at York District Hospital (ongoing story of my life)
  • My son has been made redundant twice (now in new job)
  • My daughter's boyfriend also made redundant (now in new job)
  • My wife's 60th (now happy, armed with a senior railcard)
  • I completed a Creative Writing course and shone at free verse writing
  • Investigated my dietary needs in relation to my medical conditions (interesting)
  • Had our blocked drain repaired at high cost to the Insurers
  • Took delivery of a home Composter to help with Recycling of rubbish
  • My brother got divorced after 32 years of unhappy marriage
  • My old business premises in Folkestone re-let after 12 months empty
  • Took out ISA's for my wife & me
  • Had acupunture for the 1st time
I'm sure this list is not complete but suffice it to say that a lot has happened but the most significant is starting my course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in the Cancer Care Unit at York District Hospital in August 2005. More on this in later blogs, but I've nearly finished and this blog is testament to my overall improvement.

It's now past midnight which is the latest that I've sat at my PC for many a long month.


Sunday, July 03, 2005

I'M STILL HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am having another bad time.

For over a week, I've been tired, off food, off colour and just plain arsey. It must be the rogue white blood cells playing up again. I've come to this conclusion now as I'm back on the original BP medication dosage and not as woozy as before. I have managed to bring forward the bone marrow test after two constructive phone calls to the Heamatologist's secretary. I could detect much sympathy in her voice. Perhaps she knows something that I don't. Anyway, I shall know by the end of July if I have a malignant lurgy or not.

I have lost my desire to follow Wimbledon. The game, although technically proficient, has lost its "you can't be serious" moments. Even the girls have resorted to wearing shorts under their skirts - no more "frillies". The umpires seem to be representative of the PC European Union (or Dis-Union, as I see it) and the good ole English speak is now a past memory. Even the retired stars of yesteryear now grace the commentary microphone with incessant dribble, harping on about "their day" in that god-forsaken Yankee twang. Why don't they just hang up their whites and stay at home??

G8 and Gandolf absorb all the news and TV. How much more can we all take?? I just wish we would put the same effort into our glorious planet's preservation. Keeping an extra 50k people alive each day will only add to the demise of our resources. If there is a supreme force overseeing our fates, "it" needs to step up human destruction to halt the decimation of the planet. Otherwise, what's the point of it all? In any case, the cast of the G8 is deficient of the very star that the play is all about, isn't it?? What a perfect moment to bill Magabe - ok, you'll have to re-title the show " G9".

I'm wrestling with my conscience again. Three years on from the failed business and a near miss bankruptcy, I am still unable to come with terms with my fate. I seem to fill in my time doing fuck all. I can sit in the garden for 2 hours just staring at whatever I choose to stare at. I fiddle & fart around. A bit of Su Doku here, crossword there, model making, ebaying, blogging, moaning an awlful lot about my sickly health, an inordinate amount of time spent with doctors and consultants, so on and so forth. Nothing useful, nothing worthwhile, nothing constructive. No more no intelligent speak, no human mixing and camaraderie, no decision making, no responsibility or accountability - just plain boring time wasting. And, no money for indulgences. It's just not happening in the way that I had it in my mind nor planned for a so-called retired existence.
Can anyone recommend a good COUNSELLOR???

B Liar is schmoozing again; this time the Olympic Committee meeting for the final time to announce their decision. In Singapore, of all places. I wonder if Sir Alan ("you're fired") would employ Blair?? I like Sir Alan, alot.


Monday, June 27, 2005


2 new facts for today:-

- the BBC is now pronouncing the new millenium years as "twentyohfour" rather than the familiar "twothousandandfour". This underscores further alignment to our Yankee buddies and undoubted B Liar influence on the BEEB to get us more matey
matey sounding with B Ush thus enhancing his (B. Liar) rise to the President of a Disunited Europe.

- if you want to be burnt in Somerset, a local crem has just blown up, so please book elsewhere or do it yourself. I don't think we can attribute the destruction of a lowly crem to Osama although the projection of charred body parts towards the heavens would no doubt appeal to his lack of sense of dignity. Personally, I find this story slightly amusing. Yes, I'm sick.

I have been really "peelywally" again for the last few days and I'm sick of it all, really really sick of it. Something has got to be done.
I spent most of Sat and Sun in bed feeling as if I'd taken cannibis or the like. It must be the BP medication. I can't see what else is causing me to feel like shit for so long. Also, I can't taste or smell things like I used to. Having given up the Cuban cigars weeks ago, I don't believe that these can be the cause of loss of sensation
now. I have always suspected the Losartan. The double doze must be making me worse as I've not changed anything else. Last night, I did not take it and neither have I taken it today and I am beginning to feel a bit better or else I would not be sat here typing this shit on my blog.

The BP monitor that I ordered and Maggie
paid for, has arrived. This is her birthday present to me. St John's Day was the day in question. I intend to take readings weekly and plot a graph. Then I will be able to make some informed choices as to the true state of my ticker. Doubtless, my GP won't agree with that sentiment. Interestingly, the MOL (Maggie's Mum) has high BP and her GP can't get it under control either, but then if you drink a pint of Sainsbury's sherry per day, what do you expect to happen!! Also, she is in her 80's.

Am waiting for the G8 charade as is the whole of Africa - waiting that is, as it is this they do best, just waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to tell them something, waiting for the rains, waiting for a chicken to walk by, waiting for a bus, waiting for the next funeral, waiting for payday or hand-out, just waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. Why on earth do we want to change all that??? This is their culture, their life, what they do best,- it's all them. I know we give more in subsidies to the Highland cow than we give in African aid. But we need the cow to eat for god's sake!!! The African can cook chicken shit and survive- we can't.

Many Geldofs to you all..............................

Thursday, June 23, 2005


Feed the Birds - says Bill. So I have, with 1 box of meal worms via eBay!!!

My new BP drug (Losartan) sent me to sleep yesterday. In fact, I
came all overcome (Maggie calls peelly wolly) just before I got into the pool. By the time I'd done, I was really knackered and had real problems lifting my legs off the ground and driving home. So I went to bed with the fan on full blast and awoke 3 hours later feeling just as shitty. I didn't expire during the night and have decided to split the dosage, at morning and at night. Another executive decision.

Weather is unbearable hot and humid at present. So much watering
of the tommies, pots and borders was done at 9pm. Wimbledon Wombles are out playing at present which always makes interesting viewing. Maggie like the new Spaniard in the new style of long shorts or short longs, revealing T and with a cutely tight arse. He's the new sensation this year not only for his game but other just as visual attributes. I like Ms Williams better. Simply amazed at her speed, accuracy and power for a girl who's got it big all over. Henhouse will doubtless fuck himself as usual. Talk about Virgin Wade in pants. The new Swede (also glamorous in the body) mashed we Brits last attempt in a slaughtering session with the Redeski March on Wed evening.

Who would be a victim of CTC (child tax credit) at present. Good
'ole CAB doing it's stuff as usual sorting out HMG cock-ups and Councils' ineptitude. I like the CAB. They sit in the forefront of everything nasty and unjust. Desparado's can go along to any CAB, sit in a cramped waiting room, use the toilets, change nappies and the like, help themselves to cold water and actually talk to a humanoid. You can actually shout, swear, be abusive and even be violent to this non-paid, wonderfully understanding, polictically correct, non- discrimatory, non-judgemental, life experienced and fully certified bod. I defy anyone to better this anywhere. You don't even get near it with your church and god. I should know, 'cause I'm one of them. Once a week dealing with people's shit is all I can take. With regard to CTC, inspite of Blairs new ability to express sorrow, IR publicly says the if the system was easy to run, many people would loose out on this crucial modern method of "benefit". Apparently, it's designed to have the dark side so that there's always light when you need it most. The system is not designed to be managed by tax staff but by..........................Wait for it it............................................ computers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck people, be nice to your PC............................. AND to your
CAB Adviser as they your last hope for human contact.

Must sort out a blood pressure monitor.

View My Stats