Dear Reader - 27 April 2006

Civil Liberties

Tony Blair is going to make us civil and give us liberty. Or so he says. We have never lived in such a free society that makes us both uncivil and yet restrained. Uncivil because you can be rude to anyone and get away with it and restrained because of political correctness and human rights. This government has gone out of its way to give minority groups all the freedom they want where the extreme among them become human bombs. And they do this in the name of some spurious religious belief. People, many aeons ago, who felt threatened by his religious beliefs, crucified JC. What do we do in our modern world about such extremists - fuck all.

Now TB is fed up with this approach. He going to incur the wrath of the human rights brigade and start to impose punitive sanctions on such extremists. If he can catch them, bloody good show. But, for those that are caught, I would proffer that at least twice as many are lurking undetected, as they don't exist.

Child Protection

At last Scotland Yard have put in place a new detection service based on modern technologies. They are going to employ policeman with a proficiency for this, to sit at computers pretending to be paedophiles. I would do this job for £50k pa at my home PC. Perhaps I will apply. Mark you, if they catch these sadistic bastards, the justice system weighs in their favour. The convicted ones are let out to re-offend as we all saw recently. This is where I would love to be a Muslim. I think they would drive a six-inch nail into the top of the skull of the cunt after his bollocks were fed to the dogs following 1000 lashes.

Did see Sharpe's Revenge on TV the other night with Sean Bean. He'’s brill and I love him to bits. The final sword fight with that fucking Indian Prince had me off my seat willing to kill the bastard. I just love the way ole Sean twisted his blade in the princes chest with that resounding bone shattering crunch. Most satisfying!!

Voluntary Work

I heard this week about an incident that has happened at a voluntary organisation that I used to work for. Recently the manager was told to clear his desk. We were not told anything and the gossip started. The official line was that Richard was no longer employed and has moved elsewhere. Why are bosses so scared of telling the truth?? Two weeks ago, this departed manger's name was in our local rag under 'Court Circular'’. He was found guilty for misappropriation of monies from a local charity (unnamed) and given 30 hours community service. His crime, I have later found out was fiddling his expenses. Well hands up those people who have never done this?

Mortgages

Did you know all you people lucky enough to have a mortgage that you are being ripped off? If you borrow £1000 at 10% interest, over ten years you will owe £2000! It is all to do with compound interest. This is interest only, BTW. Rates currently are about 5.2%. If you opt for a repayment scheme then true cost is about 20% less.

You newbies going for a first box at an average cost of £150k with a 10% deposit that you have cobbled together on credit cards and doting loved ones, will probably go for a 30 year term on a £145k mortgage including all the outrageous fees. This monthly sum is £800 pm with a true cost of about £288,000 over term at 5.25% repayment.

This all makes you want to be corrupt doesn'’t it and plan a bullion raid on a Securicor Depot!!. Avoid Kent for now.

New Man Mike

As I reported last time, I'’m getting ready to hang my walking stick. I have some way to go yet. I can'’t walk in a straight line. I tend wobble and fall over without my aid. I'’m working on the quads, adductors, abductors, hamstrings, calves and ankles. I'm stretching the gluts, back muscles, lower spine and abs. I'm doing deep breathing and attempting cross-legged poses with bent legs trying to reach tera-firma. Like a wizened old Hindu Yogin.All with much farting and grunting. Was that sweat or have I pissed my self again!! Oh yes, I have a fucking long way to go. Belly is sagging, arse is wrinkled, muscles have vanished and my press-ups are pitiful. Oh bloody hell, I need a miracle. But I will succeed as long as I don't get a hernia or cardiac arrest or both. I am determined to keep vertical for as long as I can. The wheelchair can gather dust in the garage until I'’m ready.

How do I go about ‘losing that grey’?

BFN

EASTER 2006

Antics next door

You know that the kids are on holiday. General noise and hubbub is somewhat louder than usual. We live next to two youngsters. The lad, aged 10, is a avid soccer player. He has all the branded gear. His mates used to visit and balls flew everywhere. Now the games are different.

His Dad has banned balls in the garden, thank god. That was last year. This year, it's pro. American wrestling with all the grunts, groans and counts. Three boys wrestle each other on top of the trampoline and slam dunk their mascot teddy bar. That's what the parents like to think that's all they do. I see the fuller picture. Yesterday was a most amusing incident of early male bonding. The three boys had thrown out teddy and each had hold of various limbs, with faces in bottoms, screaming, grunting and loud counting. At one point, the bigger boy was unceremoniously told to sit in the middle of the trampoline while the other two were lining up for a slam dunk!! They spotted me and stopped. I just smiled.

Jack's Visit

My six year old grandson, Jack, has just left after staying for a week. I'm exhausted but exhilarated. It doesn't help being lame with a knackered spine and spastic legs. We went places and did things. We ate our greens, pasta and fish but not our fruit!! 'Yuk- that's disgusting. Mummy never gives me that'! We did key stage 2 english and maths. We prepared a scrap book and did fun things on my PC. We made Easter and thank you cards for the family. We made a star chart for all the good foods eaten for which a reward of 10 stars meant a treat!! This worked well.We never stopped talking for 12 hours each and every day. We went to the library and read books and watched 'Spongebob'. Oh what fun. Now I'm knackered and life is back to our normal daily routine with our ears ringing! If you can have youngsters around when you are 60 you will not die of old age or boredom!!
This experience has fired me up and I'm thinking about doing a spot of voluntary work in our local primary school as a reading listener. I'm convinced that many kids do not get sufficient quality one to one time spent with them. This is because parents are too busy being busy, working and shopping that kids can be overlooked. I'm sure that Jack would benefit from more 'Jack time' as he is a bright kid with a yearning to learn, do everything and feel good. He wants to be a winner.

Dilemma

Maggie's folks are aging more rapidly now. Our son has a dodgy job with five mouths to feed and rent to pay. I'm a worry because I'm the disabled man in her life. Her place of work is getting more tricky to live with. So how best to balance all this lot is proving very draining on Maggie. I need to accept the slow demise of her folks and be as supportive as possible. This is now my role in life. Our son will get a break and their life will improve as he is more focused now after 3 job losses in 6 months. I'm determined to get on top of my health problems and become more stable. All these issues are significant to Maggie but I've learnt over the 34 years of marriage that less talk is best and deeds done are brilliant. I must admit that the state of her parents do make feel like the inevitable will happen and creates a nervous belly ache akin to that awful sinking gut feeling you get when you are scared and frightened. My Mum and Dad were 'fortunate' in the way they died in that they did not suffer loss of dignity. A reality all families have to face. The unexpected is devastating. The expected is no better.

Me, Diet and Health.

Since I saw a nutritionist in March and changed my whole diet, I feel tons better. I want to do more. I stay up until midnight. I want to exercise. I want to have sex again after many years of abstinence. I'm throwing out old boxers and 38 inch jeans. I've lost one stone. I'm Ebaying for replacement jeans, pants and shoes. I want to walk again without my fucking stick as I used to do 10 years ago. I've stopped my main painkiller but still need the anti-inflammatory and blood pressure pills. My legs are twitching and my bowels are working twice a day after being a twice a week man with constipation and piles. But I'm cautious. Just because I feel good now does not mean I'm out of the woods as next week things could be very different. I have learnt that.
But I'm going to see my GP to discuss my gait and appalling feet. I'm going to see if I can come off the BP medicine and tell him about my erectile dysfunction.
My new diet regimen following the visit to IoN qualified nutritionist is going well. I've stopped consuming diary, red meat, yeast products including bread, biscuits and snacks and a little G & T occasionally. I also eat less quantity with three mains and two snacks. The latter is difficult as choice is limiting. I like Nairns Oatcakes with humus. I eat loads of green salad leaves with minimum protein. I drink more water, fruit, nuts,grains, seeds, pulses etc. And I twit like an parrot!! Both Maggie & I following the Patrick Holford regime with Ian Maber thrown in as his recipes are simple to do. I have a range of supplements (costly) to help repair my gut and bowel after 30 years of swallowing prescription drugs. It is the inherent problems with these,that after many NHS insertions into ALL my orifices failed to fix, that were causing loss of appetite, smell & taste and more basically blocked bowels, farting loudly and nausea after food.
Today, things are vastly different. Not that I'm cured yet. Bowels are tricky although going from twice weekly to once or twice daily is a shock to my system albeit pleasant!! My gut powder is making me very alert and stops me from going to bed at 9pm and raising at 9am!! That must be an improvement. My taste and smell are returning. I feel like exercising and becoming more useful.

All for now - Mike